the one where I shamelessly talk about my engagement

You stand forewarned: this post is going to be gushy and romantic to the point of nausea inducing. xoxo

Two years ago next month, I started Medicinal Marzipan. Almost simultaneously I had met Cookie. As I was falling wildly, madly in love behind the scenes here at the Marzipan palace, this blog grew and grew. It grew in large part because for the first time in my life I had a partner that challenged and loved me no matter what, and because I was fully supported in each and every one of my endeavors here and elsewhere. The changes that I’ve experienced personally during these past two years is almost unbelievable for me.

You know, I talk a lot about manifesting here, which to some sounds hokey, but it is setting forth good intentions and proceeding fearlesslyeven when it seems that all of the odds are against you is my absolute life rule. I beg for what I want, talk about what kind of life I’d like to have, write about my goals and dreams, and envision it all coming true almost every single day. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t – but that doesn’t mean you stop believing, you just believe harder.

I envisioned Cookie before I met her. I asked for a relationship unlike one that I had ever seen first hand – where my flaws were loved endlessly, my quirks embraced, my hurts acknowledged and soothed, my commitment immediate and unfaltering, and my life seamless and authentic.

And it wasn’t easy – when we met Cookie told me REPEATEDLY that she didn’t want a girlfriend and would never/could never love me the way I wanted to be loved. I kept showing up. She told me there was no permanent place for me in her life. I kept showing up. She told me that it would never work. I kept showing up.

And one day? It all changed.

Since then we have moved to Puerto Rico (TWICE), lived in various apartments, grown to love one another’s families, and fallen into a quiet, relatively normal rhythm with one another. I have felt: at home, loved, nourished, cared for, romanced, and stable in ways that I never expected I could feel.

And last night, in typical fashion after eating midnight cheeseburgers andwatching some mindless television, Cookie started asking me if I was afraid of getting engaged. I mean, kind of grilling me and forcing me into long elaborate answers despite my exhaustion. I said:

I don’t think that getting engaged will change all that much. Our commitment to one another is implicit and natural, and I feel completely comfortable and confident in it. It feels like just a nice way to celebrate how much we ALREADY love one another. You know, like a series of parties, right?

AND THEN, she pulled out a ring and got on her knee – COMPLETELY taking me by surprise [side note: I did know that the ring had been ordered and was coming, but I didn't think it would be here until friday and I was completely taken aback] Completely hysterical, I said yes between sobs. Making her repeat her little speech about six times just in case I hadn’t heard it right.

Just to make sure that she was really sure.

So: YAY. Yay, yay, yay, yay, YAY. I’m ridiculously excited, especially since yesterday I ALSO found and apartment in Boston – with hardwood floors, in a perfect location, and now I am free to just dance around and be excited and drink champagne all. day. long.

Also – big news around the blogosphere, yesterday my absolutely favorite couple that I don’t actually know in real life Mary and Kepa GOT ENGAGED TOO. And he made her the sweetest ever flipbook video, I won’t lie, I watched it twice this morning and may or may not have teared up both times. Their love is so sweet and wonderful, and you should all run on over there and congratulate them if you haven’t already.

Oh geez and OF COURSE. The ring:

Tagged as: commitment, engagement, love, marriage, proposal, relationships